To Where It’s Begin

A note for myself — day 1

It’s been more than a month I didn’t write for myself. Everything feels so gloomy lately. A glance to something unreal confused me to recall myself to who I want to be or at least to who I supposed to be.

I started to realizing that the more I grew up the more I lose myself. I think I thought I see myself try but I didn’t. People keep asking me why I’m changed. It is because I have to, I replied. My answer is not enough, and it never will.

I’d say I’m pretty easy-going and social. I’m the girl that gets along with everyone. And I feel good knowing other people are comfortable around me. But it just make me feel like I’m fugitive. How can I satisfy everyone over and over again?

Oh, that’s easy. I’m super loyal, determined, and goal-driven. I’ll do almost anything to get what I want. I suppose a lot of people would say I’m stubborn, but I prefer to see the positive — I’ll always find a way or a solution. That’s not only true for me but for my friends and family as well. I’ll do anything to help them out. And it’s slowly break myself.

So, how would I describe myself to someone I just met?

I don’t know.

I don’t know who I am.